One week into the new year and many of us are well into flexing (and hopefully strengthening) our resolution muscles. Whether you make resolutions, set goals, or dream dreams, odds are you hope for some positive change in 2014, some big or small life tweaks that will make you feel stronger, happier, more confident, and more connected.

In her book, The Fire Starter Sessions – about finding your own definition of success and discovering how to achieve it – Danielle LaPorte suggests that in thinking about goals or dreams or life changes, we should be guided by the question: how do I want to feel? According to Danielle, people get overly focused on the setting and achieving of specific goals and sometimes forget to step back and ensure that the goals make sense, given that they are really part of our desire to feel a certain way in, and about, our lives. Sometimes, she says, it makes better sense to answer the question first, and develop the goals afterwards.

So, how do you want to feel?

In answering this question really anything goes, so long as it feels true to you. Some words to get you started brainstorming – also captured in my little word image above – include energized, joyful, creative, fulfilled, loved, stable, financially secure, adventurous, artistic, strong, powerful, funny, connected, and confident.

All told, I quite like the idea of taking time to ponder the ‘why’ of the goal and not just the ‘what.’ It might make you realize that some of the goals and resolutions you thought were so important maybe aren’t in service of making you feel how you want to feel. On the other hand, thinking this way might also open you up to some dreams that weren’t on your list, and it might make you feel more flexible in the way you go about achieving those goals. There are many ways to feel energized, joyful, and creative. This approach might encourage more play.

A few additional Fire Starter questions that might get you thinking about how to achieve your best possible 2014:

• When do you feel powerful, passionate, free, incredibly useful, excited, inspired?
• What do you think your form of genius is? 
• What are you amazing at?
• What’s always in the back of your mind?
• What would you like to stop doing?
• How would you like to be seen, recognized, acknowledged, awarded, praised? 

So good luck with your resolutions and plans for 2014. Take time to ensure that your goals really do make you feel the way you want to feel, and then be inspired in your determination to reach your goals knowing that you are working hard to make your life the most inspired one for you.

Reading List: The Fire Starter Sessions. Author: Danielle LaPorte.